for the worthy eyes

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 04:00:12 GMT

nothing much nothing much nothing much

my best friend has gone to aussie for a 3 week holiday. =((((
my buddy has lost her iphone, the one we got together.
hmm... DEATH TO THE PERSON WHO TOOK HER IPHONE!!
my ipod caused a miniture explosion at a power socket plug and now it cant work.

ytd was mommy daddy's 27th anniversary.
went out for dinner together at suntec.
bought a big wedding card for them.

there was a big spongebob fair there.
i almost went crazy with delight in there.
so many things i wanna get!!
i was challenging dajie erjie by saying
"if you get me the spongebob luggage i will bring it everywhere i go"
but apparently they thought it is damn expensive and crazy.

i cant wait for next year,
need to save money.
feel like going US to have a nice holiday at dayeema's place.
ps and to buy lots of spongebob stuff.

looking for schools in the US.
i want to go there after my bond ends with my buddy.
=))

damn night duty.

Wed, 19 Aug 2009 15:32:27 GMT

so, i literally slept my whole day off away.
slept from12am till 12.40pm,
woke up, went out to get lunch,
came home, fell asleep from 2 till 7
woke up for dinner, went groccery shopping
now i am online lj-ing and trying to find a good nice cheap holiday beach resort.
but i'm still feeling so so so sleepy and tired.

argh.

995 more days to the end of my bond.
995 more days before i take the next biggest step and decision of my llife.

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 12:18:05 GMT

i hate everything.

NBA FINALS

Fri, 12 Jun 2009 15:34:50 GMT

LA LAKERS
3-1
WOOHOO

Mon, 01 Jun 2009 02:30:05 GMT

The dreaded day is here.
I'm scared.
I wish to know what is installed for me in future.
I dont like this blanket of uncertainty hanging over me.

This is the time,
where I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders.

A Song That Describes My Feelings Now

Tue, 05 May 2009 17:30:24 GMT

There's a mirror in my heart
Reflecting all I am to me
Reminding me that I'm not good enough
For all I want to be
I try to hide from truth and light
For they bring out all my fears,
Shouting out all my weakness
I pray would disappear

When i look in the mirror of my heart,
I want to see someone special in me
But I see no beauty,
No glory, no destiny.
Yet deep inside there's a dream, waiting to fly.
I want to find my wings
I want to reach the sky
But i just see an empty shadow
Through my eyes.

The mirror in my heart,
Reflects a vision I cant see
I've forgotten who I really am
And who I'm meant to be
Where does my life fit in?
I'm trying hard to understand
Why can't I find my way
Or see the master's plan?

-Through My Eyes, PLMGSS Musical 2004-

I pray that I can see what you want me to be.
I pray that I will walk by faith and not by side.
I pray that I wouldnt be disheartened by all these, but yet sees them as a blessing.
I pray that I wouldnt question YOUR plans for me, but let YOU lead me through them.
Lord, I'm putting everything in YOUR hands.

MAGGI MEE SONG and POTATO SALAD

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 15:35:15 GMT

ytd,
we were watching tv,
when the maggi mee song/advertisement appeared on the tv
the famous: tu tu tu tu tu tu tu.

it got me laughing and i told my dad
about the time when S****N Q**K came to school with newly permed hair,
and we kept whistling/humming the song in her class.
then S****N Q**K said to me,
SQ: vanassa so happy today? what song are you humming?
Van: oh, the maggi mee song cos your hair looks like it.
the next thing i know, i was outside her class for 2 whole period.

i thought dad will say i was silly or i deserve it.
but instead he said
Dad: ya what, if your hair perm until like maggi mee then accept it la. still throw my daughter out of the class.

then i was thinking,
"eh, daddy seems pretty entertained about me being thrown out of the class, so why not i tell him more stories about me thrown out"

so the long winded story:
one day, recess was over,
but my two wonderful friends, rachel cheong ruixia and shirley eng jiaxin decided that they havent had enough of the potato salad.
so being the greedy US,
we ordered one more bowl each. slowly ate and went up.
lo and behold,
HO HO was already in class and questioned us why we were 20 minutes late for her lesson.
we cant possibily say we decided to eat another bowl of potato salad.
it's partly because we were in TAF club at that time and were pretty prominent fat people.
so we refused to answer her and got sent out of the class.
we stood outside for 2 whole period.

i thought daddy will say stuff like:
" eh, my daughter hungry what, eat another bowl why must throw out"
instead he looked at me, looked at my stomach and thighs and said
"no wonder last time you TAF club for so long. eh your thighs look very familiar i think i've seen it before at cold storage the cooked meat section."

BASKET.

a BIG thank you!

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 13:03:30 GMT

21st birthday celebration(s) was super great.
every single thing about it except for the stupid pizza hut that screwed us up.

FAMILY.
hahaha. i know i spent it with everyone except you guys.
anyway, daddy promised me a big birthday dinner before taiwan trip.
so i cant wait for it.
dajie, erjie thank you for being so supportive in screaming at pizza hut for me.
sorry to mom who kept calling home but i was still sleeping.
thanks to daddy who called and wished me happy birthday and then i got caught using the hp by the sister.
at least you didnt forget my birthday this year and didnt wish me birthday from 10th to 12 feb.
dajie, thank you for the birthday money!

NEM
evil little chaps.
THANK YOU for being the first to wish me birthday physcially.
i love the big sponge-bob-cake-which-you-guys-used-a-fork-to-prop-up, the personalised chelsea jersey and
right down to your little evil plot you guys made.
good thing i didnt run down bra-less. or else i will dig out sai naw's eyes.
really appreciate that you guys camped out and waited for midnight before coming my house despite majority of you were doing morning shitf the next day.
love you guys.

OLD B and RAE
HAHAHA! old b is my dream lover, rae is my tallie.
even without the phone, i could hear you 3 floors up, arguing which window is my house.
the 21 balloons GREAT!
the wonderful 12am crystal jade dinner aka supper was FANTASTIC
the rose we got for each other STINKS. (i hate flowers. but i love it that we bought it together)
the dessert at al azhaar was STINKY. ( we have to stop shooting pearls aka IQ BALLS at each other)
the loud car singing and screaming was TERRIFYING.
the note on my facebook, EMOTIONAL. (it brought long stream of tears down my eyes)
i love you two so much
and i mean it.
=))

TO ALL THE OTHERS,
thank you for the well wishes!
right from meaningful ones to BHB ones.
lol.
special shoutout to kym: THANK YOU FOR THE BIRTHDAY CHOCOS! I LOVE IT!

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 02:10:12 GMT

a. People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blog and replace any question that they dislike with a new, original question.
b. Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag who tagged you.

1. Where did your LJ handle come from?
my turtle and three other people who's name i put together

2. How do you style your hair?
in a bun or pony tail. i hardly let it down. dont like my hair rubbing against my face

3. What is making you happy right now?
the thought that taiwan trip is in 19 days time.

4. What are you currently reading?
baby blues. =))

5. Do you need music to study/write?
when it comes to study/write, i need peace and quiet. other than that, music is GOOD.

6. What is the last song on your play list?
beegees words.

7. What song makes you cry?
jj lin's hui you na me yi tian and when you're gone.

8. Do you have a crush at the moment?
hahaha. no.

9. What is your favorite movie (that doesn't involve your idol)?
resident evil. it involves my lesbian partner. lol

10. What was the last thing you ate today?
dad's wonderful mian xian noodles

11. What ARE your favorite colorS?
black and yellow!

12. What websites do you visit daily?
porn! kidding. for now is catering website. lol.

13. What's your favorite food?
anything japanese. =)

14. Which languages do you wish you spoke?
tagalog(?)

15. What is your biggest pet peeve?
people who throw their used panties by their bedside. ahem,

16. Do you have a birthmark?
yes. by my arse.

17. Who was your childhood idol?
dont laugh. britney spears. but hey it's childhood what.

18. Where would you like your next holiday to be?
taiwan and kl!

19. What do you do to fall asleep?
holding caterine's hand, looking into the eyes of my love, snoopy and soapy.

20. Write something you love about the person who tagged you.
she refuses to eat daddy's mee xian noodles.

L A S T P O S T O F 2 0 0 8

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 13:18:38 GMT

a B I G thank you to those who made 2008 such an enjoyable year

1) T H E N G C L A N
what can i say,
family is always number 1 in my heart
love you all arh..

2) N A I E R M E N
Taiwan is in 54 days and counting down.
i cant wait for 2 weeks worth of FUN and CRAZY time with you all!
poly life have been GORGEOUSLY SEXY with you***** in my life.

time to grow old and saggy together!

3) M Y B & M Y R A E
you** coming back into my life really made 2008 even more meaningful for me.
cheers to 8 years of friendship and counting!

4) P 0 3
best class ever!

5) T H E B O S S A N D T H E S A R I
without them in the ward,
i seriously will be a lost and bored sheep.
thanks for all the entertainment, encouragement and company!
miss you two so much, cant wait to be back in the ward. =)

6) P 1 6
2 years of nsl lessons with you guys have been super fun!

lastly, i dont have a real picture of this great wonderful guy,
but,
THANK GOD for everything you have given to me.
without you i am seriously NOTHING.
I hope that i can be the apple in YOUR EYE,
and everything i do will be a testimony to YOUR name.

BYE BYE 2008!

Sun, 19 Oct 2008 06:28:00 GMT

for many reasons,
i'm feeling dark and twisted all inside.

i dont even want to try explaining.

P.E.O.P.L.E

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 13:19:40 GMT

Sometimes I look around me,
and wonder how much do i know about a few particular people.
I am confident of their favourite colour, fav food etc.
but deep down inside,
I have to keep wondering what exactly are they thinking,
what exactly do they want with me or of from me.

Recent happenings,
made me feel really hurt,
made me feel very scared and wary of alot of people.
made me feel as though i am alone.

it's sad that when i looked at this particular person,
i feel that all feelings towards that person is gone.
not a single let's-be-together-feel.
but more of a i-dont-think-i-ever-want-to-be-with-you-ever-again.
to put it simply
you are too "realistic" to be a part of me.
i dont even know how to explain all these shit.
i dont think i even want to try.

I once liked bees alot,
thinking that they bring sweet honey for the bears to eat.
until the day i got stung badly at the neck,
did i know,
behind that sweet deed of theirs,
they have a painful fiery sting.
it applies to the situation i am in right now.

Sometimes i wish the world will leave me alone,
and let me do just what i want and need to do.
i dont even want to care,
if the sky comes crumbling down.

i feel as though someone have just pulled out
my comfort sheets from underneath me.

until i find those comfort sheets back.
this will be me.
sinking me.

Tue, 02 Sep 2008 13:38:22 GMT

i asked myself a lot of times,
is this the life i want?
because i'm having second thoughts about it.

i seriously doubt my capabilities,
although many told me that i can make it.

what if THIS doesnt work out?
where am i suppose to go?

this is where i am trying to pick myself up.

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 12:52:42 GMT

finally FYP is done.
we literally ran all the way from the library to the HS block,
(which i think is at least 1km away,)
to submit our report.

the feeling is great.
loves it.
=)

the only burden on my shoulders now,
6 weeks attachment and PRCP.
AND.
my bloody 21st birthday falls on the last week of attachment.
GREAT.

i am seriously looking forward to,
TAIWAN trip with my best pals.
the excitement is so overwhelming that i cant stop smiling.
24 feb 2009, wait for us.

what?

Tue, 05 Aug 2008 14:35:04 GMT

i'm so f**king tired,
it's not funny anymore.

graciousness

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 16:11:56 GMT

it's a bitter pill to swallow,
but i'll accept it.

being placed second all the time is hard.
but i'll accept it.

graciousness,
is what i need to learn.

To 2 very Special Friends.

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 15:18:41 GMT

friend-who-will-be-stuck-with-me-at-TTSH-for-the-next-4-years.

Times are really tough now in school.
But I promise to stick with you till the end.

Working life wouldnt be a breeze,
But I promise to visit you everytime i have break.

Waking up for work wouldnt be easy,
But I promise if i have a car, you will be my passenger every morning.

We got the same attachment posting twice, but never same shift,
But I promise I will keep finding you,
and giving you stickers you like,
even if it means pink hello kitty.

FYP is a killer,
But I promise to do my best and walk with you through it all.

I love you, Lao Jiang.

friend-who-never-fails-to-listen-to-my-endless-rantings

you are my number 1 emotional, mental and spiritual support since the very start of school.
Seeing you crumble,
makes me feel really indescribable

I wish there is more i could do to cheer you up at that moment,
but I was being too much of a 哭點太低的人 again.
I'm sorry for not doing my part as a friend.

We probably lost the meaing of everything.
Tired. Dont-want-to-continue.
But let's find back our purpose and our passion for it,
and work towards being the best.

I will always be here for you.
NEM will always be here for you.

For sure,
you can always count on me.

Let past events strengthen you.
Never let it break you.

I love you, Boo.

is it too late?

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 14:36:34 GMT

ED doesnt motivate me any more.
to the extent that, i want to forgo this ambition.

when you are younger,
you are INSPIRED to be a nurse.
when you are taking steps towards it,
you feel it is more of big leaps of faith you've got to take.
suddenly,
the ambition of being nurse,
requires more than just inspiration.

i'm having sluggish thoughts.

i'm starting to think back
on all unintention comments made about me by others.

i dont feel like doing anything.
im scared of everything.

i'm wondering why am i helping others,
when those people wouldnt be helping me.

if i am a peanut,
and you crack me open,
all you will see is an empty shell.

this is probably the worse and lowest time of my life.

i feel empty.

Sat, 09 Feb 2008 09:19:05 GMT

fate fell short this time.